I'm Natalie.

Two years ago I went to my GP as I'd been anxious, tearful and getting broken sleep for a few weeks. It was brought on by stressful life events... My GP prescribed 20mg Prozac. 

Within hours I was climbing the walls. My anxiety was sky high. I was pacing and rambling repeatedly about my problems... I was on edge. Sleep disappeared. 

Three days later I saw my GP again. I said sleep was impossible. She changed Prozac to 20mg citalopram. I was on that for a month, the change in me was extreme. I was hardly sleeping or eating, agitated beyond belief. I had paranoid thoughts and sent an abusive email to my father saying I never wanted to see him again. I contemplated hiring a hitman.

I was convinced my husband didn't love me. I wanted to die and wished my daughters (5 and 14) didn't exist so I could be free to act on my wishes. I stayed up for hours scribbling in notebooks about all my paranoid ideas. At night I would go for walks in the park, practically running laps as my legs needed to move constantly to keep up with the now constant flow of awful and disturbed thoughts.

I began taking zopiclone to sleep and occasionally some diazepam to 'calm' me. I stopped taking the citalopram. My symptoms didn't go away immediately. I visited a private psychiatrist. Because of my behaviour he thought I was bipolar and prescribed me an anti-psychotic quetiapine, with a view to adding an SSRI in a few weeks time. I didn't take his advice or his awful drugs. 

I returned to myself over the next month. I am completely well now. If I'd carried on taking the 'medicine' it would have destroyed my life of that I'm sure.