I'm Jenny.

I have always been anxious and prone to occasional bouts of depression. At times it has been pretty unpleasant. But antidepressants and antipsychotics have made things a whole lot worse.

After being prescribed haloperidol for anxiety I ended up in A&E. I had only taken a couple of tablets. It was a mind warping and terrifying experience and I had to be given an injection which I assume was some kind of antidote.

Prozac made me very agitated. I didn't last long on that.

I developed agoraphobia and panic attacks in 2005. I was given an SSRI antidepressant and after taking a few doses I ended up suffering several weeks of really severe anxiety when I couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, was pacing endlessly and felt like I was going into a dark tunnel. I became a gibbering wreck and ended up in a private psychiatric hospital for a month. There they put me on olanzapine and when I came out I was able to sleep but I was suicidal. I've never been suicidal before. it didn't even occur to me that it could have been due to the drugs.

Over the next few years I had a further stay in hospital, was on a cocktail of drugs and made several more suicide attempts. At one point I was on lithium, olanzapine, mirtazapine, citalopram, propranolol and lorazepam. Subsequently sertraline and Seroxat made me very angry. Then I developed tardive dyskinesia with severe facial twitching which would go on for hours. Eventually I decided to come off the olanzapine and even though I did so very slowly I had raging insomnia for several weeks and severe anxiety. I also started to feel more like my old self again - more alive and alert.

I am still on venlafaxine and mirtazapine but absolutely determined to get off them. I'm dreading the withdrawal effects but feel I have to do it. Overall I reckon antidepressants and antipsychotics have stolen about 10 years of my life.