I'm Janet and I am writing for my 39-year-old son Jordan who took his life this February 2021.
He took antidepressants, anti-anxiolytics for many years for depression, anxiety and OCD. He was prescribed many different antidepressants including citalopram, escitalopram, fluoxetine, fluvoxamine, paroxetine, sertraline.
In January of 2018 he wanted to come off of these medications as they were not helping and side effects were increasing. He listened to the doctor and took them for a few weeks more.
He woke up in June of 2018 and was crying because he experienced genital numbness and stated something happened in his brain and he was feeling nothing. He threatened suicide so I immediately took him to the hospital where he was admitted to the psychiatric unit. The psychiatrist told him it was all in his head. I had him transferred to another psychiatric hospital where he received acceptable care. Medications were still administered even though they had no idea what was going on with my son. Upon discharge he continued with genital numbness, intractable insomnia, severe anhedonia, suicidal ideation, loss of taste and cognitive issues.
Jordan tried and I know he wanted to get better but there was always that fear that nothing was going to help. We saw so many specialists, psychiatrists, urologists, endocrinologist, neurologists, weekly psychology visits, ENT, but there was lack of knowledge and awareness of this condition. Jordan underwent many test including labs, EEG, MRIs, sleep studies, EMGs, and many other tests.
He repeatedly told me he was trying to hang on for me, but kept telling me he could not live this way. He told me he was “chemically castrated and chemically lobotomized” from the SSRI’s. He stated he felt like a walking zombie that there was no mind/body connection. He became more and more despondent. He no longer did anything but stay in bed in a dark room, ate very little, communication diminished and talk of suicide increased until his final day.
God created a world of love and peace for us, but amidst this world the pharmaceutical companies created a world of hurt, pain and forces beyond our control just to make a profit.
My world is shaken and I ache at the destruction of my son’s life and all of us who suffer a loss because of medications that do harm.
I pray for all those working to bring relief and fresh hope to all who are suffering from this horrible condition.
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Jordan killed himself after suffering genital numbness