I'm Stuart.

I took my first of many psychiatric drugs in 1996 after being diagnosed with bi-polar.  After 23 years of mainly on, but sometimes off the pills, I finally made the grim discovery that I have a well-entrenched involuntary physical dependency on the anti-depressant duloxetine.

After two disastrous attempts to get off the medication, I still misinterpreted the withdrawals as a return of symptoms and a challenging set of life circumstances.

Late 2018, my life situation had improved, so again tried to taper off over a few months.  This time was different though as I noticed that the days when I wasn’t taking the drug were worse than the days when I was and when I finished the taper, I soon felt dreadful again.

Holding on to the insight of different withdrawal symptoms during the taper, I started to research more about drugs away from the mainstream world of psychiatry.  I soon found out a terrible truth about the dangers of medication and the lies and falsehoods of psychiatry and big Pharma, which I had been brainwashed biologically and psychologically by in my twenties.

I started a slow taper in April 2019 and it continues to be the hardest task of my life.  Chronic fatigue, agitation, akathisia, depersonalisation and emotional numbing dominate my life. I keep going and hope I will improve, but know the damage to my brain, central nervous system and body is deep and requires a lot of healing.  I am very scared.